Ex-gay getuienis: René Lourens

In April 2019 het André Bekker nege getuienisse van voorheen homoseksuele mense van Suid-Afrika op Facebook geplaas. Hier is die vierde een.

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My reason for writing is because I feel that I need to share my testimony, and in the process give people hope, that they do not have to be stuck in homosexuality for ever.

I am a recovered homosexual and I feel that too many people are told that they cannot overcome the lifestyle. The stance of the church should be that everything is possible for God, that He can heal everyone, but instead it tells people that God makes mistakes and goes against His Word. That people are born gay and that change is not possible and that they just have to accept and embrace their lifestyle.

I would like to give you a little bit of background on my life, the causes and my road to recovery.

I was born in 1975, to two wonderful loving parents. These were in the days before sonar scans. My dad really wanted me to be a boy but was very happy to have a little girl once I was born. 2 years later my sister was born. At age 4 I was molested by a friend’s grandfather at the friend’s birthday party. He told me not to bother to tell my mom because I am just a kid and my mom would not believe me. Unfortunately, I believed him, kept the secret and that was the start of the breakdown in the trust relationship with my mom.

When I was 5, we moved from Bloemfontein to Hartbeespoortdam. Soon after arriving there my parents adopted a 3-year-old girl (same age as my real sister). Her dad shot her mom and then himself. She also suffered all kinds of abuse before she arrived.  Because of her traumatic background she was extremely demanding emotionally and she caused a lot of disruption in the household. My mom suffered from terrible back ache (we later figured out it was due to the stress caused by the adoption) and spent a lot of time in bed. My dad hid in his study – also to get away from the disruption, so I grew up pretty much emotionally abandoned.

I was the best little boy I could be, helping my dad in the garage, climbing trees, etc, a real tomboy. I was also molested a number of times over the next 14 years.

First year of university I became involved in a lesbian relationship with a women 17 years older than me. We were together for 10 years. The last 3 years were emotionally abusive. I knew the Lord, knew the truth, but I was too scared to leave. I was also not allowed to tell anybody that we were in a relationship. I was depressed and wanted to commit suicide. I met a friend who I could tell I was gay. For the first time in 10 year I could tell the truth and the Truth will set you free!

In January 2005 I told my parents and sisters that I was gay. I ended the 1st relationship in March 2005 and went to live with my parents. I went straight into a relationship with new girl. I was still very depressed. My new girlfriend insisted I go to a psychologist.

I was extremely fortunate in that she had a lot of experience and a deep passion for helping people who struggle with homosexuality and same-sex attraction. She first helped me to become “human” again, to sort the depression and to learn to value myself.  After six months she said: “You are OK now, do you want to go on and sort out this gay thing?” And my answer was YES!

I started going to H2O ministries while still in relationship. Being part of the H2O group, surrounded by people who had been there done that, who tells you that it is possible, makes you feel that it is worth the fight. I read a lot, watched The Truth About The Pink Agenda by Frans Cronje and that brought radical change to my life.

In November 2006 I went to a Woord In Aksie Camp and committed my life the Lord on the first night. The speaker on the second day told us about 5 sparrows sitting on a telephone wire, 3 decided to fly away, how many were left? 5, because they only decided to fly, they did not actually fly away. He said we need to go over into action. So, I realised 3 things:

1. Have to break up with girl
2. I had to forgive my adopted sister
3. I had to talk to parents

These I did and on Monday morning I found an old 1 cent piece in driveway – with 2 sparrows on.

So I broke up relationship with girlfriend. In 2008 I tried to help a friend out of the gay life and was pulled back in for 6 months. All the while I knew it was the wrong thing and after six months, on 8 August 2008 I started living my new straight life. I was baptised in the Holy Spirit, completed the Vrymakende Waarhede course at LW, attended the LW Singles Camp where I first met Frans Cronje and heard his testimony.

In 2010 I started the 1st year Christian Counselling course at LW, one assignment was telling and working through the stuff that happened in my life. This was so freeing, and healing! I finished the second year too and started speaking to the parents of gay kids, to help them understand what goes on in the minds of their children and how to love them through it.

I worked through some more stuff for the next couple of years, and in 2012 I started asking God for a husband, in November 2012 an acquaintance whom I met at church contacted me, he had just gotten divorced and was hoping to go out for coffee, and the rest is history! We got engaged on 1 March 2013 and got married on 16 June 2013.  It is the best thing that ever happened to me!

We are happily married, I have absolutely no urge to go back to my old life, there is no longing for my old life, in fact I am just so grateful, so thankful that God freed me from my old life. I still have contact with two of my ex-girlfriends, and I know for sure that I never ever want to go back to live that life.

God is good, He is gracious, slow to anger, quick to forgive and with an abundance of love for us sinners, and He want to heal people. I would never tell anyone who does not want to change that they have to change, but I feel so strongly that there should be support for people who want to change. That the church should be allowed to council people, to send them in the right direction, to help them reach their life in freedom. Change is possible!!